Yes, Ms. White, There is a County

Liz Peterson is the Chron’s new county mounty, replacing yet-to-be missed Bill Murphy who’s been reassigned to Ted Oberg-style in-depth reporting; such as his startling revelation of traffic on FM 1960.

Though an abler user of the English language than Metro Diarist Lisa Falkenberg (this blog not in running), Peterson seems to be competing for her prized “Vapid & Snide” award. The award was created to recognize those whose snobbery inspires laughter rather than shame.* We all need a good cutting remark to take us down a notch from time to time, but these gals only seem to expose themselves to ridicule with clumsy down-nosery.

On the 30^th, Liz highlighted Sylvia Garcia’s very legitimate complaint about the Greater Houston Convention and Visitor’s Bureau failure to promote county amenities, despite a $750,000 grant. Liz doesn’t find the GHCVB’s ignorance of county government shocking, “since probably two-thirds of county residents have no idea how their county government works.” Gee Liz, who’s f*ing fault is that?

She follows on June 30^th, with a mocking rebuke of the notion that anyone from non-Houston might venture out to non-Houston Harris County: “I don't know how many tourists are going to make the trip to Edna Mae Washington Park in scenic Baytown.” Liz’s disdain for Outer-Loopers is only matched by her ignorance of business travel.

See, people don’t come to Houston for “tourism.” They come here for work or trade shows, and it’s the job of the GHCVB to show them what all they can do while here. Sure, men already know about the gentleman’s clubs Bill White is trying to eradicate, but isn’t there something for the spouses and kids to do while breadwinner tours the refineries (IN BAYTOWN)? Ever heard of OTC, Liz?

Or, do the transplanted geniuses at 801 Texas really think people plan vacations based on the exciting attractions of Downtown Houston? Let’s imagine:

“Hey hon, its summertime.”
“Yeah, I know, but how can we make it special for the kids?”
“Well, there’s this Discovery Green park in Houston.”
“You mean the place where they built all those outdoor showers for homeless people?”

“Not only that, it has the Bill & Andrea White Promenade!”

“Huh?”
“It’s like a sidewalk, but with a name. I mean for Christ’s sake, who the hell names a sidewalk? The kids love comic absurdity!”
“Like Monty Python or Mr. Bean?”
“Yes, and then we can take the world-class LightRail from the scenic South Loop all the way to the corner of Preston and Main!”
“Let’s! While we’re young!!!”

Much love to Anne Linehan and Rorschach.

*One can't help recollecting Joseph Eptstein's landmark "Snobbery: The American Version," particularly the fun with people who are snobby about things that don't interest you.
**I am blatantly, albeit inadequately, stealing Slampo's patented asterisk technique.